A Good Feeling

So I have returned from my "vacation" (actually a six-week summer program), and now that I've had time to sort my thoughts, I can post here again.

 

My life is filled with regret and unhappiness. I was alone for a large part of it, and I believed that I would always be alone, that I was fated to be this way. I never considered change really possible, and I used the phrase "Nothing ever changes" quite often.

 

But change occurred just a few weeks ago. I found someone with whom I find I don't feel sad. She gives me reason to be happy. I never thought I could feel happy like this. But what a feeling it is!

 

I've shown this girl a large part of myself that I'm not proud of. And she hasn't abandoned me for it. She hasn't condemned me for it. No, she sticks by me, and I feel happy. I would not trade that feeling for anything.

 

We had to part when the program ended, and of course I already miss her.

 

My notes in the notebook I carry around with me have noticeably changed. Fewer and fewer are melancholy, and many now deal with better things. Here's one saying that I must now live by:

 

Live each day as if you would see her tomorrow.

Live your life as though you never had to leave.

 

Until next time, remember: Never doubt the impossible.

 

---TDM