Nothing Really

Almost finished with Solitaire. Just gotta make the GUI.

I read in Wired magazine the other day a strange definition: narcipost - "a shamelessy egocentric blog post that's of little interest to anyone besides the person who posted it".

When I read that, I immediately knew that they were talking about me. So perhaps I should start writing more relevant material to the world. Like Terri Schiavo, the political stepstool. Or the tsunami from last December which...was in last December.

Or should I talk about government corruption, how church isn't really separated from state, the ever-ridiculable G.W. Bush, or how reality shows are all rigged? Like American Idol, how last week they took a revote because the results didn't match well enough with the one they wanted.
To me, though, all these topics are dead. They're not really relevant to my life, because they don't affect me as much as they affect the people who love to argue their larynx out over it. I suppose the only things in this vein I could take an interest in are television show depicting smart people. To name a few: The Pretender, John Doe, and NUMB3RS.

The Pretender used to be on NBC, as a living show (as in they made new episodes). A few years ago it moved to HBO and since I didn't have cable then, I couldn't watch it anymore. Then it got canceled. John Doe was on FOX two years ago. It ran one whole season, and the last episode (dubbed the "season finale") was a major cliffhanger. But it didn't come back for another season. (NUMB3RS is still running, but probably because it's primarily a crime investigation show, and adds the mathematical genius as a side order.)

These canceled smart people shows and the fresh crop of dumb reality shows and half-baked, short-lived attempts at sitcoms (FOX has a few new ones which sound really stupid) just go to show that syndicates believe that "smart" shows don't attract viewers, but "stupid" shows are quite popular. I say that's prejudice! If stupid people want to watch other stupid people, then so be it! But smart people want to see other smart people! We don't want to feel alone, like everyone else on the planet is stupid beyond reason (although most people are). Why must you segregate intelligence as if it implies inferiority? (although the opposite is more true)

The problem, as I see it, is that kids are taught from a young age that each person is different. Then we say to them: "Treat everybody equally." (There really is a lot of hypocrisy in the education system.) It's self-perpetuating, because if one person does it, then he/she would probably teach his/her kids to do it, too (whether intentionally or subconsciously). There doesn't seem to be a way to eliminate prejudice completely.

As a society, we need to advance greatly. The problem is that people don't like change. (That's why everybody pays using bills. Ka-ching!) Take Bush for example. He's against stem-cell research, which could very well provide great advances in medicine and science. This kind of research is a harbinger of change. If we ever find what we're looking for in stem-cell research, you can bet your ass that there'll be some changes. (Donate a kidney without having surgery.)

Then there's me. Yes, in some way, I, too, oppose change. Procrastination is a great sign of resistance to change. But that's not all. I'm not good at starting conversations. I can end them rather quickly, since I don't elaborate on my responses. I find myself unable to ask girls out, afraid of what that would entail. I can't even say anything regarding relationships to them. I'm afraid of the future, unsure that I'm heading in the right direction with my life, afraid to try new things. Many times I decide to change my character, my outlook, and yet I find myself regressing into the same patterns, the same routine. But change is necessary, and so I know I must press on, or I shall remain nothing. Perhaps one day I will be able to garner the courage to change something, but for now, I can do nothing.

---TDM